I Hate Smileys Every forum I browse now has these awful yellow rotating heads: smileys. What began as a simple and clever use of punctuation has turned into a new retarded way to use language, without using language at all. Instead of having something intelligent to say, I can just slap a smiley face in there, maybe sticking its tongue out, to sum up what I mean.

Which is to say, I don't mean anything. In other words, you can't take anything I say seriously, because I'm an idiot jokester who only knows how to make faces at everyone, like the dumbass curly haired kid in third grade who had to fart in class just to express himself.


Nowadays there are so many kinds of these smileys (aka emoticons) that propeller-head net geeks hardly need to say anything to have a conversation; those bobbing little round icons do all the work. Is it any wonder kids have a hard times expressing anything through language? Maybe we should arm them with portable smileys, little cardboard signs, that they can raise up in front of their face when they don't know what to say. This way they'll feel more comfortable talking to others.

Another thing that bothers the shit out of me is the overly enthusiastic nature of these stupid emoticons. Why are they so fucking happy, or sad, or angry, or stupid? They do a good job of summing up the average American population, however: a nation of drugged out Prozac morons. And maybe that's whay I hate them so much. They seem so fake, such a meaningless facade, like life in the United States. Cause you know, behind some of these smileys are the next group of teenagers that are going to arm themselves and shoot up their high school, kill their parents, release havoc on their neighborhoods.  ¶ 1:13 PM